Plan to be unbalanced. That’s right, spot a time in your day or weekend where you KNOW you’ll be a bit of a wreck, overly emotional, or even angry. I know this is a bit of an anti-positive attitude here, but hang with me. After you select your anticipated event or time when you expect to be challenged, think right then of how quickly you can recover or get back to a positive/neutral feeling about it.
Plan in your mind whether it will take a day, a few hours, 30 minutes…..maybe a minute? Point is – there is NO such thing as achieving some ongoing steady state of personal or emotional balance in life. People keep themselves anxious and self-critical every time they fall out of a comfortable life position. Instead you can now see this as a normal nuisance and expected thing, and the ONLY plan and forethought worth having is about how you expect to get back into balance, for a time – until the next thing happens.
That’s it! Balance can be found but never kept. It’s found, lost , found again and lost again. Over and over it goes. Over time you don’t need to anticipate any specific bad situation, just know they will always show up, along with the good ones, and in each case you will have an opportunity to see how much better you are at responding, recovering, and moving on with peace inside (think of peace as a hybrid positive and neutral).
So at a minimum you can stop fearing this loss of balance and welcome it, and plan your recovery. THAT’s the way to get though life with overall balance, over time… as nothing – and no one – will be able to incite fear in you again as you have the ability to respond to anything… and trust yourself.
Dawna Daigneault, Ed.S., L.P.C.
Better By Monday is a blog about one thing you can do, try or practice over the weekend to feel a little bit better by Monday